Perfecto!
I don’t know if y’all meditate or give any credence to getting messages from the Universe, and frankly, I’m probably not interested if you don’t, seeing as what follows might just sound ludicrous to you…but I’m sharing anyway.
I’ve hit that fork in the road where I know I’m not currently doing what I ought to be doing. No, I’m not doping incessantly nor drinking my liver into cirrhosis or boinking my brains out (that point I wish were different). I’ve chosen to ignore those urges I’ve had to write for a living and instead have devoted my time to lining some outrageously arrogant billionaire’s already grossly over-lined pockets.
It’s dawned on me that enough is enough. Time to get my shizzle together…that, and I’m taking inventory of what I can do to take my own personal development to the next level. The complete spiritual overhaul started years ago – it’s not one of those things I can pressure the general contractor (read: me) to get done in six months – and I’m adding a few more things to the “To Do NOW!” list.
The top priority on that list? Let go of perfectionism. Huh? Yeah, I said it. Let go of that pesky niggling mosquito that’s many a time rendered me paralyzed with procrastination. Not that procrastination is necessarily a bad thing, as I’ve found I have a startling ability to focus on something when I’m under pressure – pressure usually self-generated by leaving something to the last minute. I can pull out term papers that have flashes of brilliance and perfectly genius gems that would never have found their way into a paper that wasn’t done the night before (or more often than not, middle of the night before) they were due. I’ve enjoyed operating under the “coal don’t become diamond ‘less there’s pressure” mantra for decades now.
Setting that aside, I’m talking about the procrastination that’s attached itself to *my* projects; the ones I’ve always dreamt of starting but never knew (or dared) how to tackle. You know how they say everyone has a book in them? Mine has been begging to get out and play for years, but I’ve ignored its pleas because I hadn’t the faintest idea where or how to start telling a story and I couldn’t be bothered to tell a story that wasn’t perfectly formed in my womb (brain) before I birthed it (spewing it out in perfect prose onto a pristine blank page). Letting go of perfection might mean I end up with a premature, incomplete, and utterly deformed baby, but hell, I won’t suffer from a pregnant pause/procrastination any longer.
Pardon the horrible mothering metaphor. It’s nearing 1 o’clock in the morning and I’ve put most of my literary natch to bed, and I don’t have the perfecting pressure of a deadline. This stuff gets to get out otherwise it’ll keep me tossing and turning when I do finally turn out the light.
But back to my question about messages from the Universe because that’s really my point here. I’ve perked up and started paying closer attention to what I get to master in the next while and the message of letting go of attachment to perfectionism keeps popping up.
I’m an avid blog reader, and every single blog I’ve clicked on lately has an article on perfectionism. How to overcome it, let go of it, ignore it, and trump it. It’s almost as if someone were taking a metaphorical 2x4 to my head and insisting I take note. Believe me, I’m taking notice.
I started writing *my* novel last night. Fuck perfectionism…and damned if I didn’t enjoy just writing. No worries about plot, about character development, about slinky seductive language as bold brush strokes. Nope, none of that. Turns out it’s mostly mental diarrhea, but I don’t care - I finally started doing something I love.
I’m writing this now because my savvy deserved a little assistance to recognize this top priority on my list. I have a set of cards that are eerily similar to tarot cards, but aren’t. They’re more like message cards. You hold the question you have in your mind/heart, and pull cards. Inevitably the cards you pull are scary in their accuracy. I was playing with them just before I cracked the laptop to type this all out.
My question: what do I do to raise my vibration? Okay, that’s not the whole question, but this isn’t a dear diary kinda moment so there’s no need to give away the whole enchilada. In any case, the four cards I drew ALL had this to say:
“LET GO OF PERFECTIONISM”
Crazy, huh?
Oh, I did have to cave and run this through spell-check. I’m not stupid enough to let go of all my perfectionism.
(Cards
1: Priorities. Let go of procrastination and perfectionism
2: You Can Do It!: Let go of perfectionism and know you’ll do fine; You are a valuable and beloved person; You can fulfill your purpose – you are on the right track
3: Focus On Your Strengths: The more you bless and appreciate your strengths, the more they will grow; Remember to view yourself with love and compassion; Exercise – honor your body
4: Artistic Expression: Do this, it is the key to your life’s purpose and you will find your ideal career.
I still boggle at the perfection of these cards for me at this very moment. I want to change careers to do something I adore (write), and the fear that crippled me most in going for it was that I wasn’t perfect. It’s so nice to be reminded that fear is total and utter bullshit.
I’ve hit that fork in the road where I know I’m not currently doing what I ought to be doing. No, I’m not doping incessantly nor drinking my liver into cirrhosis or boinking my brains out (that point I wish were different). I’ve chosen to ignore those urges I’ve had to write for a living and instead have devoted my time to lining some outrageously arrogant billionaire’s already grossly over-lined pockets.
It’s dawned on me that enough is enough. Time to get my shizzle together…that, and I’m taking inventory of what I can do to take my own personal development to the next level. The complete spiritual overhaul started years ago – it’s not one of those things I can pressure the general contractor (read: me) to get done in six months – and I’m adding a few more things to the “To Do NOW!” list.
The top priority on that list? Let go of perfectionism. Huh? Yeah, I said it. Let go of that pesky niggling mosquito that’s many a time rendered me paralyzed with procrastination. Not that procrastination is necessarily a bad thing, as I’ve found I have a startling ability to focus on something when I’m under pressure – pressure usually self-generated by leaving something to the last minute. I can pull out term papers that have flashes of brilliance and perfectly genius gems that would never have found their way into a paper that wasn’t done the night before (or more often than not, middle of the night before) they were due. I’ve enjoyed operating under the “coal don’t become diamond ‘less there’s pressure” mantra for decades now.
Setting that aside, I’m talking about the procrastination that’s attached itself to *my* projects; the ones I’ve always dreamt of starting but never knew (or dared) how to tackle. You know how they say everyone has a book in them? Mine has been begging to get out and play for years, but I’ve ignored its pleas because I hadn’t the faintest idea where or how to start telling a story and I couldn’t be bothered to tell a story that wasn’t perfectly formed in my womb (brain) before I birthed it (spewing it out in perfect prose onto a pristine blank page). Letting go of perfection might mean I end up with a premature, incomplete, and utterly deformed baby, but hell, I won’t suffer from a pregnant pause/procrastination any longer.
Pardon the horrible mothering metaphor. It’s nearing 1 o’clock in the morning and I’ve put most of my literary natch to bed, and I don’t have the perfecting pressure of a deadline. This stuff gets to get out otherwise it’ll keep me tossing and turning when I do finally turn out the light.
But back to my question about messages from the Universe because that’s really my point here. I’ve perked up and started paying closer attention to what I get to master in the next while and the message of letting go of attachment to perfectionism keeps popping up.
I’m an avid blog reader, and every single blog I’ve clicked on lately has an article on perfectionism. How to overcome it, let go of it, ignore it, and trump it. It’s almost as if someone were taking a metaphorical 2x4 to my head and insisting I take note. Believe me, I’m taking notice.
I started writing *my* novel last night. Fuck perfectionism…and damned if I didn’t enjoy just writing. No worries about plot, about character development, about slinky seductive language as bold brush strokes. Nope, none of that. Turns out it’s mostly mental diarrhea, but I don’t care - I finally started doing something I love.
I’m writing this now because my savvy deserved a little assistance to recognize this top priority on my list. I have a set of cards that are eerily similar to tarot cards, but aren’t. They’re more like message cards. You hold the question you have in your mind/heart, and pull cards. Inevitably the cards you pull are scary in their accuracy. I was playing with them just before I cracked the laptop to type this all out.
My question: what do I do to raise my vibration? Okay, that’s not the whole question, but this isn’t a dear diary kinda moment so there’s no need to give away the whole enchilada. In any case, the four cards I drew ALL had this to say:
“LET GO OF PERFECTIONISM”
Crazy, huh?
Oh, I did have to cave and run this through spell-check. I’m not stupid enough to let go of all my perfectionism.
(Cards
1: Priorities. Let go of procrastination and perfectionism
2: You Can Do It!: Let go of perfectionism and know you’ll do fine; You are a valuable and beloved person; You can fulfill your purpose – you are on the right track
3: Focus On Your Strengths: The more you bless and appreciate your strengths, the more they will grow; Remember to view yourself with love and compassion; Exercise – honor your body
4: Artistic Expression: Do this, it is the key to your life’s purpose and you will find your ideal career.
I still boggle at the perfection of these cards for me at this very moment. I want to change careers to do something I adore (write), and the fear that crippled me most in going for it was that I wasn’t perfect. It’s so nice to be reminded that fear is total and utter bullshit.
posted by annaghela at 8:07 AM
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