Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Chatting with my buddies, my various boy buddies (hey guys, it’s not an insult, some of you are still boyishly charming!), about when men actually to be called "Men". I’ve arrived at several conclusions based on extensive research (ahem) and experience (cough). It’s more of a theory, really, but the empirical evidence seems conclusive.

I’m going to address you all in second person, forget the tired old third person voice for this one…I really am talking directly to my buddies.

So, on to my theory about the progression of maturity in the good ‘ole XY. It's an age thing - something doesn't go off in the brain until you guys are about 32, and then the first inkling of humanity starts to take shape. Up until then, your lot is pretty consumed with shiny things, toys and tail. Y’all are magpies and you’re fine with that (hell, we're fine with it too, you peacocks you!). Early 30s you start to figure out that there is more to life than strange *naughty word* and big eff-off toys; you start to realize that it's about the interpersonal connections you make, foster, share, nurture with people (of either sex and to various degrees).

Late 30's something *really* clicks and most guys wake up to the fact that you can't take it all with you, that you’re *not* defined by what you have or what you do for a living. Slowly, but surely, you begin to realize that you really want to create a life for yourselves, and that a full life usually involves another person specifically, and other well-cultivated relationships in general.

It's at this point where you start to bear responsibility for your feelings and your needs (and thank God when you all finally start to be able to identify what you're feeling and being able to label those feelings…by the way, what is it about guys needing labels for things..."It's got to have a name!"...), that you start to earn the title of "Men".

At least, that's what I've reduced the whole thing to, based on my experiences with guys in the 30s & 40s. (I've tried explaining this to guys still in their 20s, but for some reason they don't want to hear it....and interestingly enough, it's only guys in their late 30s who ask when they become men...food for thought there.)

There is nothing sexier than a Man.

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